Strategies for Shifting Focus - On Priorities

Let’s look at shifting your focus by looking at your priorities. Going back in history, there's this thing they call the “American Dream”. It's existed since the beginning of America and I assume it wasn't labeled that but everybody had a dream of what they wanted in life. This evolved into one “generally understood” description of what that ideal life would look like.

The American Dream

As you know, we always joke about the white picket fence, the big backyard and two and a half kids, plus a car or whatever else. The American dream has always been something that people strive for.

But it's been shifting rather subtly. Back in the early day when people had cars people thought about upgrading their horses to get a car. Now people focus on upgrading their basic car to a fully loaded SUV. Over time everything has subtly shifted to be bigger, more expensive, and more modernized.

With that it created this need to work more because things cost more. The cost of living plus all the fluctuation in the economy has contributed to that too. But what has really caused the shift in our American Dream is the modernization of our society. The reliance on technology and the speed in which we work has been good and it's also been bad. I feel like it's been to our detriment to be honest. It's hard to avoid modernization because we don't want to go without. But I also feel like the Pandemic of 2020 has revealed to us just how far our modernization has contributed to us in a negative way.

How Modernization Has Changed Life

When you have constant access to the internet, that means you can constantly work and that also means that your employer can constantly contact you and expect a really quick response.

The problem with that is that you're working more and probably getting paid the same. You're not able to create the true American dream that you want, because you might have your white picket fence and you might have your fully loaded SUV, but you're working so much to pay for those things. It's awful when you're a salary worker because you get paid the same no matter how many hours you work, and sometimes you have to work until the job gets done. Which is the case in our household for my husband. It's a salaried job.

Do we ever have the time to use our money to impact the world in a way that makes us feel good?

How much of your money is spent on simply experiencing life? The pandemic of 2020 has shown everyone that we are so reliant on our technology that we can't truly experience life. We just can't. We don't know how to shop anymore. We don't know how to have fun. We don't know how to find things. We don't don't have a yellow book.. So how do you look something up?

What If There Was No Internet?

Thankfully Facebook hasn't crashed because what would you do if you couldn't go to your neighborhood group and say, “Hey, guys, who's your favorite plumber or who's your favorite dishwasher repairman?”. There's no yellow book. I'm sure there's yellowbook.com. But without the internet, we have no ability to do things. Our kids will never know how to really use an encyclopedia unless we teach them.

All of that to say thank you for the pandemic of 2020, but not for the sadness that’s created and not for the job loss or any of that, but thank you personally, to the pandemic for revealing these things to our family.

Has the pandemic not also forced you to look at your priorities. Is your priority really just to work and pay the bills? Is it really to afford the house that you love and will that make you feel good? What happens when you get that house? Then what? If you got that house you're living in for that American Dream, how did it feel during the pandemic?

Really think about the things in life that are uncomfortable for you and think about whether you are doing what you need to do to create the life that you want. Is what you are doing right now worth it?

Every day that you get up and you brush your teeth in the house that you live in, drive the car that you drive, and you do things with your kids, and the things that you do with your spouse and the books that you read and the things that you put in your mind--are all of these things worth it?

Reality Check

Our family had a huge Reality Check during all of this, and we declared: NO! It's not worth it! Write this down for yourself! List what you do, assess whether it is worth it and write what you really want out of life. Moms don't give ourselves time to think about those big dreams and those big things outside of making sure the kids brush their teeth, eat, do the chores, and get an education.

And oh, don't forget to play with them a little bit. Because, you know, we have to play and engage with them and give them eye contact. Not that I don't want to do that. But it's like a little list that you check off. And nowhere on that list does it say create memories and experience things with your family.

The Solution

I don't have a solution for you. My strategic tip for you this time is to really think about all of that. Think about how comfortable or uncomfortable your day-to-day activities are and how they do or do not contribute to the ultimate life you see yourself living.

There's that statement that says “money doesn't buy happiness”. But some people flip it and say, “if you don't have money, you can't make an impact”. It's all true that money doesn't buy happiness, but that’s a flawed statement. You do need to be able to make an impact somehow, whether it's with your time or your money, one way or the other.

If you're working to create money to pay the bills but you don't have time to give. You either have time or money to give or neither. Which one do you have?

Can You Work and Home school?

Homeschooling isn’t just a means to an end but it’s also a way to get back freedom and life with your family. You’re probably wondering if it's possible to do both. Assess if you really need to work as much as you think you need to work. Do you need to make as much money as you think you need to make?

What is the dream life that you want --not the one society sells you?

Questions to Ask Yourself

• If you knew that life as you knew it was going to end, what would you have done differently?
• How can you create the life that you want?
• Right now what could you do differently?