SuperMom's Nemesis: Overwhelmed Mom

There is nothing worse than the shame, guilt and frustration you feel when you're trying to do too much and everything is falling apart. You've seen Overwhelmed Mom, the one who baked brownies for the morning book club completely from scratch, wrapped them with cute baker's paper, completed her marathon training regimen before breakfast, showered, finished her entire makeup routine, packed cute Bento box lunches for all 4 of her kids (who all speak 2 languages and are 2-4 grade levels ahead of their age) and just plain looks like she has it all. Except for today. She's losing it. Busting out of all her seams. How does that happen?

It goes without saying that trying to "do it all" can lead to an overwhelmed mom.

The difference between Overwhelmed Mom and SuperMom is how you respond to that overwhelm. Because let's be honest, every SuperMom has been Overwhelmed Mom at some point! Giving up or breaking down are two very human responses to overwhelm but there are more productive ways to deal with it including reframing your expectations or making a new plan.

Break Down Mode Isn't Pretty

It might take a lot to push you to the point of break down, but if/when it happens it isn't pretty. Your emotional state is in a bad place and it feels like you are spiraling out of control. If you find yourself yelling at your kids, crying out of frustration and despair or feeling helpless--you've reached your breaking point. If you are in this stage, or have experienced this stage, it does not make you a bad mom. It just means something isn't working.

Giving Up

Giving up at my house means I let the house get cluttered. I stop meal planning and we have "nothing to eat" when everyone is hungry. The laundry and dishes pile up. The floor is covered in dirt. Everyone is in a horrible mood all day and night. Getting out the door is impossible and we just fall behind on everything. This is my least favorite response to overwhelm. It used to be my primary response but now that I have implemented SuperMom systems, it is usually the last response I have to overwhelm.

The Importance of Reframing Expectations

If you are stuck in Breakdown Mode or just living in a constant stage of Giving Up, we want you to know that it is possible to do it all. You might be laughing right now just looking at the huge pile of tasks you know will not be accomplished today...stop laughing! You CAN do it all! You just have to change your mindset. Let go of trying to do "it all" at this very moment. How much of your to do list has to be done literally right this second? Likely, only one! Maybe today is not going to be your most productive day but it can be your most something else day--maybe its the day you read the most to your children. Or perhaps today is play outside the most day! Reframing your expectations is the first step to crushing the overwhelm.

Make a New Plan

This is my favorite step and the most productive and least draining response to overwhelm. First, stop everything and Transfer the Information. Download this simple journal page we have created for you. Write down everything that you feel you must do right now! Whatever is weighing on you to make you feel overwhelmed is like a poison and needs to get out...right now! Now look at that list. What can you do right now that will immediately improve your mood and everyone else's around you? Choose this "low hanging fruit" and get it done! For me, that first thing is usually to feed myself and then feed my kids. A hungry mama is usually a frazzled mama! *Hangry* children are irrational and emotional. Feeding everyone will immediately improve the situation.

Now that your blood sugar has normalized, look at your Transfer of Information (TOI) sheet again and pick the next thing that needs to be done. Start doing it. In no time, you will have finished it and your overwhelm should subside. This sounds so simple, but it truly works.

Actionable Steps:

1. TOI at the first sign of overwhelm
2. Choose the "low hanging fruit" from your TOI and do it