THEY SAID IT’S JUST A “SEASON.”
I never felt like I was failing at motherhood until my third pregnancy was followed by a debilitating chronic illness the same year my husband spent his career traveling, leaving me to solo-parent all three of our kids.
Every day was supposed to be the last day of the persistent nausea and dizziness. But days turned into weeks and weeks into months. I was battling a condition without a name and without an end. The guilt was heavy every day. I wasn’t enjoying the moments, I was barely enduring them.
ALL I DID WAS LIE IN BED AND WATCH THE ROOM SPIN DREADING THE MOMENT ONE OF THE SMALL VOICES WOULD CALL OUT TO ME-- BECAUSE I COULDN’T COME, EVEN IF I TRIED. MY HOUSE FELL TO PIECES. BELIEVING IT WOULD END “ANY DAY NOW”, WE MADE THE BEST OF IT.
And really that just meant that I accepted my struggle as my reality...something I could not change.
After 5 months I finally saw a fork in the road:
Continue barely surviving and enduring tremendous guilt over all the moments I was missing.
I was declared “recovered” because I could stand up and move around. I could see straight enough to leave the house but not quite well enough to drive. One day, a woman, not yet a mom, came by my house for her produce delivery and she said- "how do you do it all with this condition you have?"
And another, a mom this time, said, "You know, God is trying to get your attention. You need to listen!"
And she was right. All the years I had been listening and serving moms in my community. I got asked all the time, "How do you do it all and won’t you show me how?" And I did. So what was I missing this time?
But in that moment, all I felt was cheated and angry.
So I took pen to paper (and by that, I mean, I wrote a blog.) I set it all out for moms to see. This is what it takes for me to “do it all.” And I addressed it to them all - the “wannabe SuperMoms”.
I’ll admit, my heart wasn’t right when I shared it all that night. But what came next, was all part of God’s plan. The responses… the broken hearted women saying they too were struggling. Society shuning them for their “greedy” ambitions to “do it all” despite their conditions. And THANK YOU for sharing.
Ok, God, now I’m listening….
And he sent that mom back again… she read to me two verses as she prayed over me:
Isaiah 66:9 I will not cause pain without something new to be born, says the Lord.
John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
AND THERE IT WAS - THE REASON FOR MY STRUGGLE...
Romans 5:3-5 More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.
Seeing what one mom can do in spite of her struggles... that spreads hope. You'll always hear me say, "If I can do this, you can do this!" Because it's true.
And on top of my experience and struggles as a mom, I have some other "street cred" too:
If you're a natural minded mama finding that we share like-minded values...
Having been the one who was always helping others, I didn't know how to ask anyone for help when I was really struggling to manage life with her condition.
You see, when you're sick with a cold and your dishes pile up, if you complain about it to the wrong friend--you might get shrugged off. Mom's are "supposed" to give themselves grace whenever their lives aren't going the way they had hoped -- that's what our society would have us believe.
That's why I know when a SuperMom calls for help, she doesn't need empathy, sympathy, or reassurance that this is only temporary and that her kids would forget the dust bunnies and remember the memories...
No, SuperMoms need to be reminded that she is SUPER and that every SuperMom needs to do only one thing to overcome a struggle.
Together, lets use my experience and my systematic approach to home management to create the life you dream of living. Over the years, I have helped change so many lives. I am honored to be trusted with the stories SuperMoms tell me--of their struggles, fears, and dreams.
You really can have it all when you design a life that fits!